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Adulting is hard yo

Most days I manage to get by with a smile and pretend as if nothing is wrong. But lately it’s getting harder and harder to pretend. I have this feeling inside of me that never goes away. That feeling….failure. For three years I have managed to some how get by in raising my children on my own. A preteen, an almost preteen and a trouble maker. They’re amazing children but I wont try to lie and say it’s easy.


I made a decision a few weeks ago regarding my relationship and I struggle with it. It was the right thing to do but my heart hurts. I lead with my heart and not my brain and this decision was made with my brain. I tried to do the right thing but that doesn’t make it any easier. I have love and support from friends but I am still left alone and confused.

My oldest is going through changes he refuses to talk to me about. I’m his mom so I get it but he has no one to talk to. He holds his feelings inside and I can see the struggle sometimes. He wont admit it he will just lash out. I recognize it because I do the same.

My daughter, bless her heart (I’m turning into an Okie) she deals with anxiety and depression and it pains her. What pains her pains me. I have tried everything to help her but I am a source of her problems. I know this. I am also a trigger for her.

My youngest has a heart like no one. It’s soft, and sweet and kind but he’s trouble in a hand basket at the same time. He wants to be included and he wants to do what he wants. His individuality is amazing but he acts out most of the time. Discipline doesn’t work because he has very little care for anything. He doesn’t hold one thing above anything else.

I love my children with all my heart and soul but I feel like I fail them on a daily basis. I work full time to provide for them but they hold it against me. I come home and most days I am to tired to cook dinner. So we do quick meals and they’re not what a family dinner should be. I work on my computer when I get home and on weekends to bring in some additional income. It’s not much but any little bit helps as they say. Weekends should be spent doing things as a family but they’ve turned into my cleaning days. When I clean I get angry. I am angry because I am the only one that cleans. In my marriage I was the soft one, my ex was the disciplinarian. This now has come back to me being the disciplinarian and well, it’s not my forte. The kids don’t respect me and don’t listen. So I clean the whole house, by myself.

This has been our life for three years. I don’t like it. They don’t like it. But I have no resolve. As long as I have no respect from my children it will continue like this. Each day I break emotionally and physically. This post is not meant for pitty, like my son I hold my feelings in, but I know I have to speak out. I risk attacks letting me know I have failed, or they may be words of encouragement. Either way no more holding it in. This is me…broken.

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Balsamic Quinoa with Tofu and Kale Recipe

It’s been a while since I’ve been inspired to create a new recipe. Actually it has been way too long. Today I finally broke my dry spell. I tried my hand at a quinoa recipe, but  without an actual recipe. This is all from scratch. I was a little worried as I have only cooked quinoa once before, and well like I said it’s been a while. So you could imagine my excitement when it came out amazing.


As of late I have fallen back into old eating habits, aka unhealthy. I need to break that again and stick to it, but now I have realized it’s not just myself who has fallen into those habits, but my children as well. Overall they are pretty healthy eater, but they do love junk food.

My oldest has always been a hard one to get to try new foods. If he could live off of turkey sandwiches, hamburgers and bean and cheese burritos I’m sure he would. I will give him credit though as he has gotten a little better, which may have a little bit to with the fact that I make it harder and harder for him to pick out the good things in meals. But I hall give credit where credit is due. I’m nice like that.

My daughter has been on board with healthy eating. For being only nine I am happily surprised at this. She has always loved certain vegetable but getting her to branch out hasn’t always been easy. Plus we’re limited on a lot sine she is allergic to nuts. But if there is one kid that I know will not only help me cook up new creations, but enjoy them as well, it would be her.

And then there’s my youngest. My wee boy. He actually isn’t that small anymore but he know he’s the baby and will use that knowledge a best he n to get hi way. Little does he know I’m on to him, and have been for years. But I til play along because I do so love a good challenge. And a challenge he is. He may not have the pickiest pallet but he knows what he likes and isn’t too keen on trying things outside of his little box. He does however love salads which makes me very happy.

And look, I’ve gone off an ramble about my loves when I was supposed to be sharing a recipe. If you have a vegetarian in your house, this recipe is completely vegetarian. I hope your family enjoys this one as much as we all did.

Balsamic Quinoa with Tofu & Kale
Serves 6
Handfuls of kale, mushrooms, onions paired perfectly with quinoa and balsamic vinegar
Write a review
Prep Time
20 min
Cook Time
30 min
Total Time
50 min
Prep Time
20 min
Cook Time
30 min
Total Time
50 min
  1. 1 cup quinoa
  2. 6 mushrooms diced
  3. 1/2 red onion sliced and quartered
  4. 2-3 cups sliced kale
  5. 3-4 cloves Garlic (1 tsp)
  6. Sea salt (two turns of the salt grinder)
  7. Pepper (1/4 tsp)
  8. Cayenne Pepper (1/8 tsp)
  9. Balsamic Vinegar 1/2 cup)
  10. 1 Vegetable bullion
  11. Olive oil
  1. First start with cutting up your tofu. I halve it, then cut into strips then cut again in the other direction to make three across cubed tofu squares.
  2. Coat your pan with the olive oil and cook the tofu on medium high heat. Make sure to mix it every few minutes. While that is cooking chop up the remaining vegetables and set aside.
  3. In a small pot combine two cups water, one cup quinoa and one vegetable bullion. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a summer, cover and cook for 15-20 minutes.
  4. I always add a slight brown to my tofu to give it more texture. Once you see it starting to brown add the onions and mushrooms. Cook for approximately more ten minutes. Add garlic and stir for a minute. Next add your kale, stirring again.
  5. Now my favorite part, add the balsamic vinegar. Stir for one more minute and remove from heat.
  6. By now your quinoa should be done. If all the liquid has cooked out pour it into the large pan with your tofu and vegetables.
  7. Mix together well so the balsamic coats evenly.
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Make Memories & Travel Safely with the Toyota Tacoma #Giveaway

This is a sponsored post. I received compensation in exchange for writing this review. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.

There are many reasons to buy a new vehicle. Looks, interior, special features, etc. But for me, the most import thing in purchasing a new car would be the safety features and how they relate to our experience. The 2016 Toyota Tacoma comes with a plethora of safety features.

NIK_1203 copy1

See I live in Oklahoma. Land of the unknown and crazy weather. This year we have already experienced an ice storm. While I am sure most of the native Oklahoman’s aren’t too effected by this type of weather, this little ole California girl gets quite nervous at traveling the roads during snow, ice or any type of major weather circumstances. So anything that helps keep my babies safe while I brave the roads is a huge plus in my book.

While I know a defroster may not be a big deal for some it’s big for me. To have a fully functioning defroster that not only works, but works good is an amazing thing when it is freezing cold outside, and half your vehicle is frozen solid in ice. The same goes for the mirror defrosters. Um genius!

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I have a serious love hate relationship with technology. I love the endless possibilities it brings, but I don’t like the distractions they can cause. But I have to gush about the technology in the Tacoma for a moment. With every new vehicle comes a new blind-spot to get used to. But that was not something that was an issue with the Tacoma because of the Blind Spot Monitor & Rear Cross-Trafiic Alert. It pretty much eliminates those heart racing moments we’ve all had when you may accidentally merge into a lane and not see a car in your blind-spot. A warning light will illuminate on your mirror should this situation arise. And then there is the back up camera. The Rear Cross Traffic Alert will sound off if you are too close to an object or a car.

I think too often we get stuck in the hustle and bustle of daily life that we forget to slow down and enjoy. Toyota helped give that moment to my daughter and I. We were able to attend our first college football game. Not only was this a first for both of us, but it was also her birthday! Now while I may get shamed for going to an OSU game and LOVING it (I live in Sooner land aka Norman), we were just in awe of feel and experience. It is something we will be able to look back on for many, many years to come.




Toyota would like to help you create your own memories. Enter for a chance below to win one of three Visa gift cards.

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Cure the daily #4pmFreakOut with Mezzetta #Giveaway

This is a sponsored post. I received the same gift pack offered in the giveaway.

Mezzetta-festo low-res

I walk in the door after working all day, looking forward to seeing my three beautiful children and awaiting their “yay, Mommy’s home”. What happens is slightly different. While I do get the happy cheers of me entering the front door I am immediately barraged with questions of “can I have a snack”, “can I have this” “why do I have to do my homework now”, “can I play on the computer”, “can I play the Wii”. My favorite is “What’s for dinner”. Queue Jeopardy music at this question. I look at three sets of huge brown eyes and stare back blankly. My answer is almost always the same…..I don’t know.

There has to be an easier way to combat the daily four pm freak out that us moms experience. I’ve tried planning ahead, I really have, but I consistently fail. My go to is simple meals. While I do love me some simple meals, it tends to get repetitive and well, boring. I’m sure my kids feel the same way I do about it. I mean who really likes getting stuck in a rut? I don’t know anyone that does.


One meal that I have found that while it me be a “simple” meal it is one that can be recreated in a hundred different ways. I’m talking about Spaghetti. The possibilities are limitless, and it’s one of those meals that you can effortlessly elevate with the addition of just one ingredient. That ingredient for this particular days meal was Mezzetta Kalamata Olives. Everyone in this house is an olive fan so when I decide to chop a few handfuls up and throw them into my spaghetti I get ohhh’s and ahhh’s from everyone. It’s a nice little surprise flavor to break up the monotony, and when everyone devours their plates mama is happy.


Another idea is to serve an olive and cheese platter while dinner is cooking. The upside, you can not go wrong with olives and cheese. The downside, when they’re all gone it is truly a sad moment. Like the picture above? All that deliciousness? Yeah it’s gone. I think I may have a few Kalamata olives left but those gigantic garlic stuffed olives are finito. They were amazing. No one could stop eating them.


Mezzetta is on a mission to help moms out and alleviate the daily stress of worrying what is for dinner, and to enjoy family time. You can check out some delicious recipe ideas on their site to help you on your way. Want a chance to win a delicious prize pack filled with Mezzetta products (pictured above) so you can start planning how to cure your #4PMFreakOut….enter the widget below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

  • Trisha McKee

    I would love olives in my pasta salad.

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Getting over the block, writer’s block

How does one bring a dying blog back? After my divorce my site all but went poof. I want to bring it back but writers block has me stuck.

blockUsually when I sit down in front of my laptop words just flow. I don’t even need to think about it they just come to me. As of late….actually this year, the words have all but stopped. I sit and I stare. Nothings there. Words don’t come to me. Ideas don’t flow. It’s all but stopped. I’m just like everyone else, I am not immune to writers block but I’ve never had a block this big stand in my way before. I’ve perused Pinterest, cooked new recipes, did fun and exciting things with my kids but it just isn’t there anymore. My creativity has left the building.

poofThis time last year I was looking for a new home, eating healthy, keeping my kids entertained during summer break and exercising. A lot has changed in a year. Now I work full time so there’s a lot of boredom going on for my kids which leads to bickering. Constant bickering leads to stress. Stress leads to less of a healthy menu (pizza is a family favorite and I shall not admit how many times we’ve eaten it as of late), and exhaustion hence the slacking on the exercising. It feels like an all around fail on my part. 

failFeeling like I have failed not only my children but myself is a hard hurdle to get over which no doubt, has hindered my situation. So what is a girl to do to get over this? 

  • Serious brainstorming
  • Talk it out
  • Have a meltdown
  • Cry it out
  • Write it out


Ding ding ding, folks we have a winner. I’m writing it all out. While I’m sure the others work just as well, for me writing it seems to be helping. Hey look at that, I’m actually writing. Putting it out there for the cyber webs to see. You. Are. Not. Alone! Writers block happens. Life happens. Stress happens. Yes it gets me down, way down sometimes but you/I can’t dwell or it will eat you alive. Side note…. the fun little comic bubble’s are helping a bit too. They’re pretty fun to make.

So here we go, my first post to help me kick this writer’s block. My future posts may be a bit random but I am okay with that because I am a random type of person.

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Chicken Avocado Taco Recipe

Occasionally I have these moment where ideas just come to me and I go with it. They have been happening less and less frequently as of late but the other night (okay a few months ago…I forgot to hit the publish button) I had one. And may I just say oh my yum! I hadn’t been shopping for groceries in longer than I would like to admit. But I did have a reason. I was going to be traveling the following day and I hate wasting, either food or money. Soooo why buy groceries when they will just spoil. 

Working folks….you know how it is when you come home from a busy/crazy/awesome day at work and cooking is the last thing on your mind.  Add to that that I had an insane amount of things to do in preparation for my trip. Insert automatic reflect to look for an easy meal. This, as most of us know can be a bad idea.

Thankfully at that moment in time I didn’t have a slew of unhealthy items in my house, so whipping something healthy and light up was pretty simple. Here it is, I give you….Chicken Avocado Tacos.


Chicken Avocado Tacos
Serves 2
Easiest taco recipe you will find. They're delicious, filling with less then ten fresh ingredients.
Write a review
Prep Time
10 min
Total Time
10 min
Prep Time
10 min
Total Time
10 min
  1. 1 large avocado
  2. 1/2 cup chicken breast
  3. 1/2 sliced jalapeno
  4. 1/2-1 cup red cabbage sliced
  5. 1 tbsp diced onion
  6. Fresh lime juice
  7. Pinch of garlic salt
  8. Tortillas (I use La Tortilla Factory corn tortillas, they're a perfect mix of corn & wheat)
  9. Salsa
  1. Chop the cooked chicken breast up into bite sized pieces and put in a medium bowl
  2. Dice the avocado and onions and put into the bowl with the chicken
  3. Add a pinch of garlic salt and as much lime juice as you want, mix together
  4. Slice the cabbage to desired thickness
  5. Place a spoonful of the avocado mixture into a warm tortilla, top with jalapeno, cabbage and salsa
  6. Serve with black beans
 I hope you enjoy these super simple healthy bites as much as I did.


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Conquer Enuresis with UnderJams #ConquerBedWetting

dielikidsI know you may all be wondering what I am doing writing about Enuresis (bed wetting) when my children are older, but my case is not a typical. I have three kids (pictured above)  so I may be what some consider as a veteran to the potty training game. All three of my kids got potty training down in their own way and at different ages. My youngest seemed to be the easiest. It was literally as if he woke up one day and was done with wearing diapers and never wet again. Who knows maybe it was a third times the charm type of deal. I like to say it’s his determined personality.

My daughter was also fairly easy to potty train. It took a few months but once it clicked with her she never let it go. She is my emotional child and even at the young age of two, she would be herself up over having an accident. She didn’t like feeling like a “failure” and that for my ex husband and I was our biggest struggle. Helping her understand it was not something she failed at.

Now my oldest….he’s the reason I wanted to write about this topic. He is now eleven years old and has been potty trained since he was about three. It was a difficult process going through potty training with him. I think part of the reason was we moved around so lot while he was younger and the constant change of home affected him in more ways than one. He used to have night terrors which would inevitably lead to regression. Then we would move and he would regress. We would go for periods of six months of completely dry, no accidents at night at all, and then he would wet the bed every night for two weeks.

This has been a consistent patter for a few years now. It’s not something he really likes to talk about much so I am here to be his voice. One of our biggest struggles was making the decision to continue keeping him in underwear at night or moving him back to a night time diaper of sorts to help him. It was something I didn’t want him to be ashamed of but I also didn’t want him to feel like he had failed. He is such a deep sleeper he would sleep through what the rest of us would wake up from. Whether it be the need to use the restroom or a storm outside. When he is out, he is out. I have also read that it may or may not be associated with bowel movements. How frequently your child takes them, or more importantly how infrequently.

Making the decision to go ahead and put him in some sort of night time protection was one I wouldn’t take back. Not only did it help his peace of mind but it helped mine as well. Know that he wont get down on himself for having an accident was a relief but it made morning times a little easier as we weren’t having to do laundry every morning on his bad weeks. I think the decision to use night time protection is not something we alone face. I am sure that many parents struggle with the idea of “taking a step backwards”. I don’t believe it should be looked at it like that anymore, I believe if it something that can help not only your child but yourself it could be a wonderful option. I wish they had Pampers UnderJams eight years ago when we first started going through this. One of the biggest things we ran in to while trying to find some type of protection for my son was finding them in his size. He is by no means a big kid, he is my lean machine as I call him but he is tall. The very first thing I noticed about UnderJams was that they start in a bigger size, size small/medium fits from 38-65 pounds and size large fits 58-65 pounds. UnderJams also offer these benefits:

  • Night wear leakage protection that features a NightLock ultra-absorbent core.
  • ComfortWear quiet, cloth-like materials for privacy.
  • Low waist so only your child knows they are wearing them!

With Pampers UnderJams you and your babies (totally not trying to confuse you all, it’s just that it doesn’t matter that he is eleven, he will forever be my baby and I still call him that every day) sleep with the peace of mind in knowing that even if enuresis were to happen…it is okay!

Also I did want to bring notice to the Pampers UnderJams site. They have a lot of useful tools, tips and educational information regarding enuresis there that might be helpful for you and your child in conquering bed wetting.

Have you and your child experienced enuresis? How did you guys conquer it together? I would love to hear your stories and thoughts on helping your children through this stage.

  • storm

    our boys are 10 & 7 they love the underjams better than other products they keep the beds dry

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Spring Cleaning has begun #SmellsClean

This post contains sponsored content.

Oh yes, I looooove this time of the year. The birds start chirping, the flowers start to bloom. Yay for allergies but it’s so pretty you can’t help love it. It’s almost like a new beginning even though were a quarter of the way through the year. Another awesome thing about spring time is spring cleaning. Not many people would look forward to that tid bit. In fact I used to be one of them but this year, this year I am loving it!


With the cleaning out of unnecessary items brings about cleaner houses and we all know that when the house is clean, mama is happy. Less mess equals less cleaning. Who wouldn’t be happier about that. But getting it done early is the key. That way you have more time to be outside enjoying nature with your family. One of my many ways to keep a fresh house is by using air fresheners. I never knew that there were other people who thought this too!

Air fresheners are a natural part to the cleaning process. In fact many people think that a home isn’t clean until it smells clean. I am one of those people. Sure seeing a clean house is amazing but walking into a house that smells absolutely amazing is beyond wonderful. It just adds an extra oomph. A friend of mine came over a few weeks ago and when she walked in she said “your house smells like you”. I must have given her a funny look because she immediately said it was a good thing. When she used to come over to my old house she said it always smelled amazing and she said it was refreshing to come to the new house and have the familiarity of my favorite scents throughout the house.

So yes, in addition to going through some major spring cleaning lately I have been burning candles and melting wax like it is going out of style. I think others in my town are of the same mind set because last time I visited Walmart the air care isle the shelves we’re almost cleaned out. I think from the new line, Glade Hello Spring, there may have been two or three of the oils left. All the candles and wax melts were completely gone! Color me bummed. It sure is a good thing that I stocked up the other week or I wouldn’t be able to walk into my house and smell one of my new scent obsessions. Currently I have two. The first being the Poppy Groove wax melt. Being from California and smelling the poppies every year when we would go see the fields of them I wasn’t sure what to expect. But oh my yum, this scent is delicious. Yes I used delicious to describe a wax melt.

poppy groove

Eeek, now that I see my wax burner up and close I realize it could use a bit of cleaning as well.

My other obsession is the Peach Daiquiri candle by Walnut Candles. I have a few of their candles and if you have never checked them out I highly recommend it. Walmart carries a huge selection with over 700 different candles you’re guaranteed to find at least one that you will fall in love with.


So what are you waiting for? Go visit your local Walmarts scent isle and browse Glade’s new Hello Spring line and Walnut Candles vast selection. If you do be sure to let me know what your favorite scents are to bring in the fresh start of the season into your home!





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Life is passing me by

I swear it just became 2015 the other day.  But when I look at the calendar I am reminded we are four months in, my kids only have two months left of school and summer is almost upon us. Life has been so busy it’s almost as if it is completely passing me by. How does this happen? I remember my mom telling me when I was younger, “just stop and enjoy the moment sweetie because before you know it years will go by in the blink of an eye and you will look back and wonder what happened”. Touche mom.


So what have we been up to this year? What have we not been up to. The kids I think can officially call themselves traveling pros. Flying standby and not making it on flights doesn’t seem to faze them as it once did. They’re getting better at just going with the flow which makes things a whole lot easier! They’ve all been doing good in school for the most part. My youngest got kid of the month award. :::Enter shock and awe here::: To bad he ended up with the chicken pox and had to miss the ceremony!


My daughter had tube surgery the other month. I had tubes when I was younger, my oldest had tubes when he was younger so this wasn’t new for me but for her it was quite nerve-racking. I give her credit though, she did great despite being utterly terrified.


We got our first storm of the season last week and well done Oklahoma. You never disappoint with your crazy weather. Thankfully the kids were over at my ex husbands house as a precaution since he has a storm shelter and my house does not. I ended up taking in a mom and her three children that night. She was driving around trying to get to her aunts house who wasn’t home and was panicking over the weather. As soon as I heard her choke up when saying she has her three kids and is looking for shelter I told her to come inside. I can’t turn down someone who is fearful for herself and her children. I would only hope someone would do the same for me if I was stuck out in weather with my babies.


And that’s what we’ve been up to the last four months. One more month and my baby will be seven, holy frack! There’s another holy frack moment.  Geez, I seem to have a lot of those lately. Well I’m off to enjoy my weekend with my heathens.

  • Stephanie

    I recognize those crazy clouds! Good for you for opening your shelter to strangers. I’m sure she will remember that for a long time.

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Hello to 2015!

I am not going to lie or sugar coat things. 2014 was a horrible fucking year. Oh my, Shana just dropped the F bomb. Why yes, yes I did. What ever would posses you to do that? Well I did warn you that I wasn’t going to sugar coat it! Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. And it will go down in the memory books just as that. Going through a separation and divorce isn’t easy peasy lemon squeezy. No it’s emotional, stressful, heart breaking at times and one of the most raw things a person an go through. If you are one of the lucky one’s to end up with a civil divorce I applaud and congratulate you and think you guys are awesome. If you can end up civil and friends in the end I will do the same as previously mentioned and hug you. Ugliness is just that, ugly and it doesn’t do either party any good. And even more important is it doesn’t help the innocents….your children (if you have them). Well look at me rambling on here. That was not my intent of this post. Anywho, if you are going through a divorce I am wrapping you in giant hugs and I offer my shoulder in support to you.

Now, to the point of this post….HELLO 2015!!! A new year, a new beginning. I never really paid much attention to New Years resolutions and such. Yeah sure I made them in the past but I never stuck to them because really, what was the point. If someone wants to make a change they should make it, why does it have to be at the new year? Yes part of me is a cynic. Shhh don’t tell anyone. With all the changes 2014 brought I want to start 2015 right.

So here we go, my list of things I want to change, I’m going to try and change but I will not call them resolutions so that may help me stick to them longer hah.

1. Don’t stress so much over the state of the house

Yes it get’s messy. Yes the kids will pretend to clean when in all actuality they’re making it worse but why stress over it? Why waste that time getting upset when you could be spending it with your babies doing something fun like…I don’t know a food fight. Wait what?!? Okay maybe not a food fight but something as simple as coloring with them can make their day. Do it!

2. Wake up earlier

Ugh, so not happy about this one but it’s got to be done. Getting into a new routine with the kids has been rough and it doesn’t help that you’re constantly running late and barely making it to school then work on time. You have got to do this the right way. Get up earlier, feed those cranky heathens breakfast, shove all your faces out the door and get to school/work on time. Don’t worry….you got this!

3.  Don’t forget to play

Whether it’s outside or inside, and no I don’t mean on the computer, iPad, etc. I mean together. Okay despite my fighting on this I will cave and save the WiiU does count cause we can play it all together and laugh at each other so that totally counts as play time and together time. Just spend time with those babies and soak it all in. Pull out those games that are collecting dust in the closet and do a weekly game night.

4. Assign chores

Hey this is a weak point for me. Not a small one but a big one. I do EVERYTHING. While I am a single mom and duh it’s kind of in the description I still shouldn’t be doing everything for my children. They need to learn independence, responsibilities. You know all the fun stuff. Start out small but a chore chart needs to be done. They’re all old enough that this should have happened years ago but there’s no time like the present so snap to it girl.


You only have one life. Remember to breath. Stop and enjoy the special moments,  if you don’t you’ll look back and realize all that you missed. Don’t over process, don’t over complicate. Just breath.

There it is. My list of things to work on. I’m so gonna do this, for myself but especially for these three loves of my life.




2015 is going to be an amazing year!


  • Jamal

    You have shared an excellent post, Thank you for the advice. it's an amazing year so far.

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